


in the PTA, you win or you're suspended indefinitely

by greekphilosophress



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chaos Ensues, F/F, F/M, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, I promise, I tried to be funny, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slurs, Tags May Change, alot of tagged people havent shown up yet, but they will!, let me tell yall, my theon bias really jumped out in this one, the iron throne is the pta presidency, the premise is sort of crack-y but there are Emotions, we'll see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28736643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greekphilosophress/pseuds/greekphilosophress
Summary: When PTA president Robert Baratheon is kicked out, a new president must be named. But who?
Relationships: Catelyn Stark/Ned Stark, Catelyn Tully Stark & Ned Stark, Cersei Lannister & Ned Stark, Sansa Stark/Margaery Tyrell, Satin Flowers/Jon Snow, Theon Greyjoy/Robb Stark
Comments: 12
Kudos: 38





	in the PTA, you win or you're suspended indefinitely

“I’m sorry, he _what?_ ” Ned Stark was sitting at the kitchen table, orange juice in one hand, phone in the other. Petyr Baelish was on the other end of the line, which was unfortunate enough, but the news he bore was top-tier horrendous.

“He’s off the PTA. They found him sleeping with one of the substitute teachers. So now the president position is open. As vice president you-” Ned cut him off, “ _Robert_ did that?”

Baelish sighed. “Yes, Robert did that. So now, you have to take over as president, at least until we can have a vote.” Ned hung up without acknowledging him, meeting Catelyn’s eyes over the table. 

“Well,” - she began - “At least he didn’t call Cersei.”

\-----------------------------

Cersei Lannister got the call late last night, when her ‘husband’ was still out doing… well to be honest she didn’t really care what he was doing as long as it wasn’t with her. The news of Roberts’ infidelity didn’t surprise her, but the president position being offered certainly did. All through the messy process of the divorce that was taking far too long, Robert had always overlooked her, but now she had something over him.

She would just have to get to the meeting today early, claim what was hers. The rest would come naturally.

All she had to do was seize it.

\-----------------------------

Walking into the multipurpose room of Westeros Highschool might not elicit many emotions. But the one felt by Ned when he saw Cersei Lannister sitting in the chair adjacent to the podium, where the president should be, was fear.

She turned her head at the sound of the heavy door swinging shut, and made a shape with her mouth that she probably interpreted as a triumphant sneer. In reality, it was barely a smirk.

“Why hello, Stark. You may not have heard, but Robert is off. I’m on.” Catelyn put a hand on his arm and stepped forward, an unspoken signal indicating that she would do the talking. _That’s probably for the best_ , he noted.

“Cersei, Ned is supposed to take over until we have a proper election.” Cersei only tossed her hair over her shoulder and narrowed her eyes. “I don’t think so. You forget, my _father_ , _Tywin Lannister,_ is _head_ of the Board of Directors. I think that I have the better claim.” Before she could provide rebuttal, the doors flung open and Stannis Baratheon entered, Melisandre following behind.

To be honest, nobody quite knew exactly who Melisandre was. She was _definitely_ in a cult, though. It certainly made their childrens’ World Religions classes more interesting.

“Cersei, why are you in my chair?” Stannis challenged. She raised an eyebrow at him. “ _Your_ chair? I do believe it’s _my_ chair.” Melisandre smiled serenely, “According to the rules of succession observed by the Lord of Light, Stannis has the right to the throne.” 

“For the last time, this is a _Parent-Teacher Association,_ not a feudal monarchy.” Catleyn was getting frustrated, he could see. That wasn’t good, because she was the only good negotiator he knew. Also she was his wife.

“What is going on here?” Olenna Tyrell demanded as she sailed in through the still-open doors. She had a way about her that made everything that came out of her mouth sound like an insult. She was one of Arya’s biggest role models.

“Everyone thinks they’re president.” Cat offered.

“Why don’t we vote, then?” Olenna replied. “Every member has to be here. We’re still missing a lot of people.” Olenna rolled her eyes. 

“Well that’s their own fault. Now who votes for Margaery?” She raised her own hand. Nobody else did anything.

“Margaery is a student.” Said Stannis. At Olenna’s unchanging expression, he elaborated. “She’s sixteen.” She did not seem swayed in the slightest.

They all sat in uncomfortable silence as the rest of the members slowly drifted in, Tyrion and Jaime Lannister - ancient history and gym teachers respectively- followed by Renly Baratheon and Petyr Baelish, acting as treasurer, as well as Roose Bolton. Last and latest, in typical fashion, was Balon Greyjoy.

Ned hated the man with a passion. His son, Theon, had basically been living at their house for years, and his daughter, Asha, was always taking refuge there as well. It was no secret that Balon wasn’t worth the air he breathed, but he showed up to most meetings, defying logic and everyone’s patience.

Tyrion was decent, if a little snarky, and Jaime was maybe a little too _comfortable_ with his sister, but he didn’t hate them like he did Cersei, Balon, or Baelish. Petyr was the treasurer, and also definitely had a thing for his wife, and was too clever by half. 

Renly was Robert and Stannis’s brother, 18 and in the student teaching program. Ned liked him well enough, he supposed.

“Can we vote, now?” Asked Jaime, slumped low in his seat. Cersei reached over and thwacked him on the arm. “We don’t need to vote, I’m the president.” Tyrion spoke up. “Actually, we can’t vote now anyways.”

“Well, why is that? Everyone’s here. Even _Balon_ showed up.” Replied Olenna. 

Tyrion went on, “We need to have a student body representative here, to speak for the actual people.” Cersei opened her mouth to protest, but before she could get out anything, Roose raised a finger. “He’s right.” His voice was soft and vaguely slimy, but everyone listened.

“There’s a student council, do they have a president? They would be a representative, right?” Renly supplied. Tyrion nodded and said, “They do have a president, I can’t for the life of me remember who. I can find out, though.” That seemed to smooth the tension in the room. At least, until...

“If that’s done with, can we talk about this ‘anti-bullying’ campaign bullshit?” Balon interjected. They had all long ago given up on trying to tell him to keep his language appropriate. Catelyn put on her most tolerant expression and asked, “What do you mean?”

“I mean we’re teaching kids how to be fucking _weak!_ We should let them get the shit beat out of them once in a while. Keeps ‘em on their toes. If one of mine ever told me that some kid at school was ‘hurting his feelings’ I’d whop ‘em _myself!_ ” 

Ned had to fight to keep a civil expression on his face. He thought of Theon knocking on the door at midnight, with a bruise on his cheek, asking if he could spend the night, and he wanted to do some things that would probably be worth the jail time.

“We’re not getting rid of the campaign, Balon. Anything else you want to add?” Asked Tyrion. 

“Well, sure, since you asked _so nicely._ Starting with that rainbow sticker in your room, _Lannister._ That some kind of fag shit?” The silence that filled the room was deafening, apart from the blood rushing in Ned’s ears. Tyrion was looking at Greyjoy with a kind of pointed shock. “My _safe space sign?_ You fucking-” 

The screech of a chair on linoleum flooring cut him off as Renly stood up, turned, and ran out of the room, door swinging wildly in the wake of his exit. Cat was standing up now, but unmoving, one hand in a fist and one over her mouth. Nobody else was moving, so Ned took it upon himself.

It took three long steps to get to Balon’s chair.

_One, for Sansa_

_Two, for Jon_

_And three, for Robb_

But it only took one hit to get Balon out of it.

Faintly he heard Cersei call for the on-campus police officer, and Cat was yelling, and Jaime was trying to pull them apart, but Ned was intent on rhythmically smashing his fist into Balon’s face. An elbow caught him in the eye and he had to stop for a moment, which allowed Greyjoy to scramble upwards, stepping on his arm. 

There was a snap, and then a gigantic woman was hauling Balon off, detaining him, and then there might have been an ambulance ride, and when he was finally home, only then could he think.

\-----------------------------  
  


Cat was sitting next to him on the bed, her head in her hands.

“I… I’m sorry.” He said gently.

She shook her head, but wouldn’t look at him. “Don’t be. He deserved it.” She reached out and took the hand that wasn’t in a sling. “You are suspended indefinitely, you know that, right?” 

He shrugged, that had been expected. “They suspended Balon too, right?”

At her conspicuous silence, he sat up. “Cat? They suspended Greyjoy too, right?” She looked at him, a fire adjacent to rage burning in her blue eyes. “They said that you were the one who instigated.”

“Who’s they?”

“Guess.”

“Cersei.” He let out an angry breath and slumped down.

“She’s a bitch. But you have to admire her ambition.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoy!


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